Date Rape: Debunking the Myths
There are important facts that everyone should should know about the nature of date rape. Society often blames the victims of date rape for the assault. This is unfair. The responsibility of the assault should rest on the offender, NOT the victim. Some of the most common myths about date rape include:
1. "You were drinking; what do you expect?"
Some people serve dates double shots of alcohol in their beverages without their knowledge to render them more vulnerable. Even if you were drinking, this does not give someone the right to assault you. To be safe, stay away from alcohol in your social interactions.
2. "If you hadn't accepted a ride, gone to their room, etc. , this wouldn't have happened to you."
In situations of date rape, offenders are someone you know and trust. Accepting a ride or going to their room does not give your friend, date or acquaintance permission to assault you, nor does it obligate you to have sexual relations with him/her.
3. "What do you expect to happen when you are wearing a mini skirt?"
It is important to realize that people dress in clothing that makes them feel comfortable. Everyone has their own individual style of dress, and date rape can happen to anyone no matter what they are wearing.
4. "You asked for it. You always tease and flirt."
Flirting is a natural part of dating in which both men and women partake. Know your sexual boundaries, how far you want to go, and avoid being talked into touches you don't want.
5. "If someone spends lots of money on you, you 'owe' them at least something in return."
Dating is not a business deal in which money, gifts, and dinners out are exchanged for sexual intimacy. A decision to relate to your date physically should be mutual, not a coercive or manipulated act.
These myths are simply untrue. Victims should never be held responsible for offenders' actions. Date rape can happen to men, women, to someone you know. It is not the victim's fault if they were unable to prevent it. If you or someone you know has been violated by date rape, get help and support and start the healing process.
For more information:
- Check out Was I Raped? on the RAINN website.
- Speak to a counselor at the Engle Center- Our services are free and confidential for Messiah students.
- If you would like to speak to someone off campus, a good place to begin would be the YWCA Rape Crisis Line. They can be reached any time of day or night at 717- 238-7273.
- To speak online with a rape crisis counselor, go to The National Online Sexual Assault Hotline.